. . . the journey . .

     Five years and some months ago, I began took on the task of living alone. Not by choice, nevertheless it happened.  I was new at it and I still feel that way today.        After growing up on a farm with a dad who could fix anything, it was no surprise that the man I chose to marry was just like him!  We were a good pair, as were my parents when it came to keeping things running smoothly.  If he lost a button or tore his shirt, I could fix it.  When the sink leaked, he could. Neither of us were in to challenging traditional roles, no need, the way we did it woked.     Today, discovering a leak in the plumbing, I am thinking perhaps I should have paid more attention!  And I am wondering.  I have numerous friends on facebook and such that live alone and have for many years.  How do you handle this issue?  Do you have a huge budget for repairs?  Do you have friends that you "trade" with when it comes to things you don't know how to do?  Do you just get a book and lear

Have you ever wondered, when something reminds you of a loved one who has passed on, shall I mention it? will it make her remember and be sad? is it better to just say nothing? The answer is YES ,MAYBE, NO I lost my husband to cancer in 2007 and my father to heart disease in 1995. Although I don't "actively grieve" them every minute or even every day, they are still a big part of who I am.  One of the hardest things is when people don't seem to remember that they were ever around. so should I mention it?   YES, I long to hear, Remember when he...,  when I see....I think of your dad,  I wish your husband was here to enjoy this with you... Will it  bring a tear or a smile?  Probably. Maybe one, maybe both. But its ok, because with either my heart will be soothed by your remembering and my burden of grief will be lightened . so, is it  better to just say nothing There could be times when it might be best to keep your thoughts to yourself...I have learned

As an RN with a background in mental health and addiction treatment it is easy for me to use the word Recovery and know that it applies to the total picture of who we are, what we think, how we act, and interact, what we believe...all of it.  Recovery is a term often associated with addiction..."I am in recovery" the addict will say; or physical rehab from something like a motor vehicle accident or a stroke that has left us with physical deficits...IE the recovery was long and slow.  Even our politicians talk about  recovery and apply it to our economic situation. R ecovery from an event that has caused grief in our lives is like  not terribly different. Look at its components 1. It in not instantaneous.  Recovery is a process not an event. Dont be discouraged when you feel great one day, and as though you never started the next.   Loss is not an easy thing and we often minimize its effect on our lives.   The important thing is that you recognize and practice, gettin

Sometimes recovery is just about being with friends. Old and new

I had popcorn for supper last night No one objected No one said "I don't like that". No one asked for seconds. I had popcorn for supper last night Curled up in my favorite chair with a really good book, And a snuggly blanket. I had popcorn for supper last night. Not the best nutritional choice I guess. But sometimes, when I am alone. I just allow it, and enjoy. How have you dealt with meals alone?  Please share your ideas.  I might want to try one.

I saw an old acquaintance today.  I was driving away from the local convenient mart as I saw her get out of her car and with a tired walk, make her way into the store... We didn't speak and yet she spoke volumes to my heart.  You see, she had her head covered.  Covered in a way that told me that underneath there was no hair.  I will search her out soon, call, send a card.  Tell her she does not fight alone.  Tell her that she can go on. Tell her that I understand.  I will not tell her to call me if she needs something, because I know that she won't. I won't tell her that she will live, because I don't know if she will.  But just for today I will tell her she is not alone, and it will be enough. I know.

I have been researching the topic of Grief. I have looked at it's definition.  I have felt its emotion. I have seen its face, and I know it's paralyzing grip.  It is just a simple five letter word with a pretty straight forward definition.  At least it seemed so until I found this definition at www.thefreedictionary.com     grief (gr f) n. 1. Deep mental anguish, as that arising from bereavement. See Synonyms at regret . 2. A source of deep mental anguish. 3. Annoyance or frustration: Trying to follow their directions was nothing but grief. 4. Trouble or difficulty: the griefs of trying to meet a deadline. 5. Archaic A grievance. I have been puzzled by the insidious way that in this process of grieving, it can feel as if its  long bony fingers can reach out and without a sound pull you into the abyss.  I found a clue in the above definition. It was in that suggestion to "See Synonyms at regret."  As I searched its content, each line made sense