Remembering
Have you ever wondered, when something reminds you of a loved one who has passed on, shall I mention it? will it make her remember and be sad? is it better to just say nothing?
The answer is YES ,MAYBE, NO
I lost my husband to cancer in 2007 and my father to heart disease in 1995. Although I don't "actively grieve" them every minute or even every day, they are still a big part of who I am. One of the hardest things is when people don't seem to remember that they were ever around.
YES, I long to hear, Remember when he..., when I see....I think of your dad, I wish your husband was here to enjoy this with you...
Will it bring a tear or a smile?
Probably. Maybe one, maybe both. But its ok, because with either my heart will be soothed by your remembering and my burden of grief will be lightened.
so, is it better to just say nothing
There could be times when it might be best to keep your thoughts to yourself...I have learned, for example, that for pastors, it is best to not bring up a new topic or ask an in depth question right before church starts. It distracts from their focus on the service. It may not be remembered later because of their need to stay focused at that moment. In the same way, there could be times when a person would prefer not to have emotions stirred... but they few. I say speak up. Take the risk to be part of someone's remembering because they already do.
The answer is YES ,MAYBE, NO
I lost my husband to cancer in 2007 and my father to heart disease in 1995. Although I don't "actively grieve" them every minute or even every day, they are still a big part of who I am. One of the hardest things is when people don't seem to remember that they were ever around.
so
should I mention it? YES, I long to hear, Remember when he..., when I see....I think of your dad, I wish your husband was here to enjoy this with you...
Will it bring a tear or a smile?
Probably. Maybe one, maybe both. But its ok, because with either my heart will be soothed by your remembering and my burden of grief will be lightened.
so, is it better to just say nothing
There could be times when it might be best to keep your thoughts to yourself...I have learned, for example, that for pastors, it is best to not bring up a new topic or ask an in depth question right before church starts. It distracts from their focus on the service. It may not be remembered later because of their need to stay focused at that moment. In the same way, there could be times when a person would prefer not to have emotions stirred... but they few. I say speak up. Take the risk to be part of someone's remembering because they already do.
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