To Say or To Be - That is the Question

What do you say when someone is hurting?

Isn't that always the first thing we think of when we are faced with the news of a new illness or tragedy? It's hard. Sometimes there just isn't anything to say.

One of the best responses I have ever heard was simply this.  "I don't know what to say, and I don't know what you need to hear, but I'm here."  Simple and profoundly honest.

I expect you want to say something helpful, I feel like that too, but I have found that words sometimes mess up the love my presence wants to convey. So I am learning to hug.  I am learning to share tears. I am learning to squeeze the hands that have reached out to me and simply love.

Later, there will be time for words. Now is the time to just BE. Don't let not knowing what to say ruin that. 

Blessings
Kathy

Comments

Debbie Church said…
So True, so very, very true. Just being there is what is needed, be it in person, a text, an email, a card with your thoughts in it, or a Facebook message.
7:22 AM
Cherie Gagnon said…
Sometimes people won't know what to say so they don't say anything or even avoid. I agree that it's good to just be honest and admit to not knowing what to say and offer a hug or hold someone's hand while they weep. It's nice to know that people will be there for you when you are hurting.
8:37 AM
Kathy Gronau Terral said…
Thank you for your comments. Hugging you from here just because ;)
11:44 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

and prayer moves the hand of God

Perhaps you were able to tell by the last entry that we were somewhat disappointed by what seemed like lack of interest in Orin's situation, blaming that on the fact that we were the last appointment on Friday afternoon when everyone was really just wanting to start the weekend! Yet God used that very situation to keep us on the doctor's mind and when we arrived home on Sunday night there was a message on our answering from Dr Williamson asking us to call him. I spoke with him Monday and found that somewhere between Friday and Saturday afternoon he had reconsidered Orin's case and had become convinced that we needed to get a current ct scan and consult with the surgeon..regarding more agressive treatment of the abscess. Orin had a new CT Scan done today and it will be sent to Dr Williamson who said he would personally talk with the surgeon.. so we wont have to make a trip unless the surgeon feels that something can be done. My prayers personally had been that the doctor
Read more

faith walk

Well I sure wish I could report wonderful news.... Orin said he was disappointed that they didnt have a magic pill to give him!! The Doctor was not able to give us much hope regarding the abscess problem.. He did say several times that sometimes the problems that resulted from the treatment became the problem! He felt as tho this were the case. Surgical repair could be risky in several ways...apparently there could be a problem with healing..especially if there are stray cancer cells still present.. and of course it is a big big surgery. He refered us to the surgeon who does only cancer surgery. Someone he works with frequently. I do not know if Orin will choose to do this however... he isnt too willing to consider more surgery. He was on the other hand very encouraging about the lung lesions and judged them to be significantly improved between the last two scans. He said that eventually the cancer would become resistant to the drugs that they are currently using but that there ar
Read more

The Blessings of Love

I have spent several hours this evening going through the records that we have collected from Orin's treatment trying to be sure that we have what we need for this consult Friday with Dr Williamson.. As many of you know, I kind of like to write things down.... and what a blessing I had tonight... as I went through my calendar to get the dates right on this scan and that...OVER and OVER I read.. we got a card today from Charlotte, or Lea, or June etc... or today Donovan brought orin a strawberry shake, or Tom and Nichelle were here to visit, or Ann called or Rod called or Pastor was by to see orin and on and on and on with so many enteries... each reminding me of the love and care we have gotten from nearly everyone we know.. thank you thank you. Your love sustains us.
Read more